Thursday, October 14, 2010

T9 Subspellings

You know how they say you can’t spell dysfunctional without the word ‘fun’ and other stuff like that? Well, if you run it through the T9 predictive text system, there are other interesting entertaining things that you can’t spell words without: as you try to type a longer word, sometimes a fun variant of the first part of it comes up first. For example, you can’t spell:

Info without God
Mormon without moron
Smart without soap
School without pain

I prefer the theological implications of the first to the second. I think we can all agree, though, that the final pair is the truest of them all.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Things Which, if I Were Only Slightly More Ridiculous, I Would Make a Page You Could 'Like' on Facebook:

* that random, sharp intake of breath when you remember a really embarassing moment
* the smell of childhood toys
* pouring the last bowl of cereal from a box and not have it be all crappy and in tiny dust-pieces
* opening a big book directly to the exact right page
* having clothes you got from DI outlast stuff you bought from a real store
* scrapes from climbing trees
* finding a sock that you thought got eaten by the dryer in your shirt when you pull it out of the drawer a week later

If any of these actually already are 'likeable' on Facebook, please don't tell me. I have a very fragile faith in humanity at the moment and that kind of blow would likely be fatal to it.

What are the most ridiculous things you can come up with that would still be plausible 'likes' on Facebook?

Monday, October 11, 2010

Happy National Coming Out Day!

I have a friend who once told me the spiritual trait she was most interested in cultivating (at that time, at least) was honesty. She wanted to be more honest with herself about what she did and didn't believe, and with her friends and family about who she was. Given the title of this post, you might assume I'm talking about a lesbian, but nope, she's straight. She just wanted to be more sincere and real. I think that is an awesome idea, truly something we should all be working on more. And I think it goes along great with National Coming Out Day, which is today!

Whether it's that you're gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or straight; whether it's that you're Mormon and you're worried about your co-workers finding out or that you're an atheist and you're worried about your co-workers finding out; whether it's that you actually love musicals or country music or ballet despite years of professing otherwise; whether it's that you secretly hate football or romantic comedies or fast & testimony meeting or your family's favorite board game in spite of social pressure to do otherwise; whether it's that you feel like you have a facade up when you act social and you're afraid people will find out that you're really not very outgoing at all but you can't change your public identity *now*!--WHATEVER it may be that you don't feel is sincere about yourself... come to grips with it today. Face it head on. It might be something that you want to embrace and tell other people about. Or it might be something that you want to work on improving but that you can't address until you accept that it's there. The first step is knowing yourself better and introducing more of your real self to the other people in your life.

Be honest with yourself. What are your flaws? What are your secret talents? Who do you have a secret crush on? (Married friends: disregard that last one) Let the appropriate people know. That might mean you just need to tell yourself, it might mean tell your best friend, it might mean tell your family, it might mean make it your facebook status in ALL CAPS, it might mean mailing it in to PostSecret. You know what's right for this secret for you right now.

And to bring this down from the wholly abstract and impersonal, I'll come out about an aspect of my personality I haven't really shared much of publicly: I'm really bad at sharing my inner thoughts and feelings with people. I always say I want a confidant, but I never take advantage of opportunities to have one. It would require actually confiding things.

So there's something for me to work on. How are you going to come out more fully today? For best results, it should be something you're scared to tell people. Do it anyways!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Pumped for Church

In high school, guys on the football team would listen to System of a Down or Metallica or something on headphones really loud before a game to get really pumped up.

Today, I listened to the Hallelujah Chorus right before church on my big fatty headphones with the volume turned way up. It was epic. I recommend it highly.