Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Onion reject

Subway reaches out to Dyslexic LGBT Community with New Sandwich

America's dyslexic homosexuals have long been neglected by advertisers who have thought the demographic too insignificant to devote resources to. However, recent estimates pin their numbers at a minimum of 1,350,000 in the United States alone, and Subway is thought to be the first large American company to begin marketing to this perenially overlooked minority with a new menu item targeted towards them. The sandwich, dubbed the "Great Bacon, Lettuce, & Tomato" sandwich, or GBLT, will be offered at all locations nationwide starting next Monday. Initial reaction from the gay dyslexic community has been positive; many said they were pleased to see the ubiquitous acronym finally in the correct order and plan to purchase the sandwich as soon as it goes on sale. Subway has brushed aside criticisms from some who claim that this promotion is designed to take advantage of disabled persons, saying in a statement that "homosexuals have long suffered discrimination, and those afflicted with dyslexia are often at an even greater disadvantage than others in the gay community. This is an attempt to even the playing field for them." Subway has confirmed that the sandwiches will be stored in a closet and come out to be served to customers.

1 comment:

  1. Wow,

    I was laughing my head off. I think I even woke up my wife!

    Good Job